When there is no remedy..

..there's something still bleeding inside of me and I don't seem to be able to fix it. It hurts everyday and pulls me down. But I still stand strong in my shoes, chin up.

I regret it every time and I know I make it even worse every time I lash out.

I hate myself even more every time it happens. And I try I really do. I try hard, but maybe not hard enough I guess.

Though I do try to accept your mistakes, some of which are harder to accept than I imagined.

And I don't understand why I break up into a thousand pieces when I was just half way to repairing myself again or was it just a dream?

Over and over again, even though I swear I saw our names written in the stars in the endless sky.

Even though it was your mistake and I am the suffering one I feel so in the wrong. I don't think I ever did anything wrong. Was it right to forgive you?

My body feels empty and heavy when your not around, there is a big hole ripped in my soul, I hope I'm not wounded for life.

My breathing becomes slow every time I think about those terrible memories when I suffered fresh pain. But the pain has become worse as time passed. My head becomes numb with thousands of thoughts running through me blinding me and hindering me to see the right choices.

I want to stay awake for you and watch over you. I want to bind you to myself so I don't have to be so lonely.

My common sense tells me to let go whilst my heart clings to the love that burns deep in my soul..

Will this torture ever end..?

Happy New Year Everyone!

Happy New Year Everyone!

I hope everyone had a blast on New Years Eve and hopefully no one ended up in hospital with some kind of inqury :P.
Another year has past and before I could even blink it flashed by me. But of course with many fun, loving and pleasent memories. And yes sometimes not so pleasent.
But hey life goes on and we're one experience richer.
I'm quite bad at remembering things I did in the past year. Especially the ones at the beginning of the year, but I'd like to look back at the fun times I had, the wonderful new people I met, the amazing places I've discovered and lolitastic meetings I attended. I also looked back at the unpleasant things that had happend this year, which brings me to my first resolution of the new year!:

I'm going to forgot the things that weren't so pleasant and move on. A good fresh start is great for anyone. I'm going to do all the things I want and remember the lovely time I had.

Normally I don't write these kind of things down because in my mind I'm making a concrete statement. Which means I have to do it which also means I have to have the responsibilities that come along with it. Which means I'll end up me not doing them.:P
No idea why it's so. I just like to live my life by the day. So much more care free and easy. :P

But never the less some things need to be stated and burned in order for new life to bloom.
Tell me what are your new years resolutions?

I want to wish everyone a lucky new year and that this year may be full of love and happiness!

Thanks for reading and take care!

Lolita Christmas Inspiration Poem

Found a lovely Christmas poem and thought I'd share it with you guys!;)

What Do We Love About Christmas? What do we love about Christmas;
Does our delight reside in things?
Or are the feelings in our hearts
The real gift that Christmas brings. It's seeing those we love,
And sending Christmas cards, too,
Appreciating people who bring us joy
Special people just like you. By Joanna Fuchs

I love the warmth and cosiness of a warm home when it's snowing outside. I also love the beautiful window decorations and Christmas lights everywhere I go. And I love the wonderful Christmasy smells of cinnamon, caramel, cakes, pies, vanilla, and burning wood on the stove.
What do all love about Christmas?


Thanks for reading and take care!

I have such wonderful news! I am allowed to purchase something of lolita for Christmas.

Though I'm not completely sure what to ask. I have narrowed it down to an OP I want I'm just not too sure which shoes will fit the best. I can sadly only choose one pair for now:P
But see for yourself and comment what you think of it!

Little Bear's Cafe OP

Cute wine coloured purse^^

This is where I can't make my mind up.:P Which to choose? These rocking horse shoes?

Or these cute brown Tea Parties!
Or these pink Tea Parties!
Or maybe these Pink shoes!:P

I really don't know:p I will combine this outfit with brown socks I think and I have a cute bear ears headpiece which I will combine. I'm hoping to purchase a wig too^^
And I will be wearing this coordinate for HyperJapan:D
I can't wait!

Thanks for reading and take care!

Lolita Christmas Inspiration- Decoration Tipp!

Christmas is on it's way to town! I'm so excited about it. I love Christmas it's one of my favorite times of year.

I just love all the lovely Christmas lights, Christmas shopping, hot coco with marshmallows, the atmosphere, wrapping myself up in layers and layers of clothes! I love wearing Lolita this time of year! And being all happy and jolly! I thought I'd post a few posts about my Lolita Christmas Inspiration. They will be about winter coordinates, decorations, presents and wrap ideas, Christmas poems and stories, Christmas backing recipes and lots more! Here my first Post on decorations: While reading Paifaitdoll's December Tips I came a cross a lovely Christmas Lolita decoration idea.



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It's so colourful and cute!
I think I'm going to try this decoration for myself, but not only for Christmas. Maybe as a plain decor piece for in my room!




(Click to enlarge)

Either way it's such a lovely idea and I will definitely try it out! Thanks for reading and take care!

Day 19 – What’s in your make-up bag?

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I have a pretty basic make-up/care treatment routine. I have a light mousterizer(white container on the left) for my face. This creme contains no perfume and other bad stuff. I'm pretty allergic to alot of things so I have to watch out not to get a rash.

Under that container is my baby body creme. I gathered that babies have lovely soft skin because of the products so I thought I'd use it too. Plus it's very skin friendly and smells really good:)

Next to that are my lipglosses (or labello chapsticks). I have a general care chapstick with camomile to treat my lips. The other is a passionfruit flavoured chapstick which also leaves a faint red/dark pink schimmer on my lips. Which is great because I don't like wearing lipstick or sticky lipglosses.

Above that is my make-up set of eyeshadow (nude/brown colour, I like natural shades) and pink eyeshadow for when I feel girlish. Next to that my brown eyeliner, loose mineral powder and a brush. I try to buy everything mineral based because I'm allergic to make-up. Which can be quite annoying. But it's a good thing. My skin can tell me whats bad for me and what I then shouldn't use.

Right in the back are my hand creme and deodorant. I usually don't use Dove but it was the only one I had in my bag this time. I believe I borrowed it from someone and forgot to give it back:P

On the right side is the rest of the make-up I use. I have two different kinds of foundation. One is from Rituals and is also mineral based and is one of the few foundations that doesn't react badly to my skin. The other was a gift and it just so happens that this one is great for my skin.

Also in the same row is my powder blush brush and my mascarra.

The little tube underneath is a anticeptic creme. It helps get rid of spots almost instantly. I love it. It's also good for wound healing. I've used it for years and never has it failed me!

Well thats pretty much it! I do hope to expand a little in colourpallets for different looks but it's a little tricky finding the right one for my skin and at a good price.

Thanks for reading and take care!

Help save Japan!!!

After reading a rather interesting article on the web, about how tourist levels in Japan have drastically dropped due to the recent natural disasters, I thought I'd write a blog to support Japan.

I can imagine that many tourists find it dangerous and unsafe to go on holiday there!

The Japanese economy is suffering terribly from this!

We need to show people that Japan is still a great country to visit as a tourist! I myself have had a long time dream to visit Japan and to see the culture for myself and see what it's like. Japan is by far the most different and interesting country I've come across!

I'm even learning the Japanese language for when I have saved enough to go there myself!

I'd love to go there and experience the Japanese bliss!

It would be a shame not to get a glimpse of it's history, culture, people, beautiful landscapes and buildings, should there be more disasters in the future.

So please support me on this and plan on going to Japan yourself! Because Japan is worth it.

(please read relevant article about the action):

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/10-000-free-round-trip-tickets-japan-134142507.html

Thanks for reading and I hope to have enlightens you.