Tuesday, January 3, 2012

When there is no remedy..

..there's something still bleeding inside of me and I don't seem to be able to fix it. It hurts everyday and pulls me down. But I still stand strong in my shoes, chin up.
I regret it every time and I know I make it even worse every time I lash out.
I hate myself even more every time it happens. And I try I really do. I try hard, but maybe not hard enough I guess.
Though I do try to accept your mistakes, some of which are harder to accept than I imagined.
And I don't understand why I break up into a thousand pieces when I was just half way to repairing myself again or was it just a dream?
Over and over again, even though I swear I saw our names written in the stars in the endless sky.
Even though it was your mistake and I am the suffering one I feel so in the wrong. I don't think I ever did anything wrong. Was it right to forgive you?
My body feels empty and heavy when your not around, there is a big hole ripped in my soul, I hope I'm not wounded for life.
My breathing becomes slow every time I think about those terrible memories when I suffered fresh pain. But the pain has become worse as time passed. My head becomes numb with thousands of thoughts running through me blinding me and hindering me to see the right choices.
I want to stay awake for you and watch over you. I want to bind you to myself so I don't have to be so lonely.
My common sense tells me to let go whilst my heart clings to the love that burns deep in my soul..
Will this torture ever end..?


  1. Ah, yes. Love and/or relationships can drive you crazy sometimes. I do hope you get through this. Just keep in mind that we are always there to support or comfort you.

    The best thing about lolita is that it's not just a gorgeous fashion. It can also bless you with the gift of new friends. Friends that may last a lifetime *hugs*

  2. ^^ auww thankyou! Your really sweet! I appreciate your support^^
    I have to agree that lolita friends are the best^^